I sat on my patio last night in the still warm air with the light that never seems to quite set this time of year around here. Writing out thank you cards for my birthday shenanigans which occurred this year and it's not that I needed it because I tend to feel it always, but it was a reminder nonetheless. A reminder of all the people surrounding me. A reminder of the abundant blessings which have poured in this past year. I'm thirty now. And it was celebrated with this ridiculous surprise party thrown by Billy, my family, and friends. To say I was blown over is an understatement.
It seems that party kicked the summer off and it hasn't took a breath since. The birthday, a road trip to the mountains of Montana with my partner in crime, a near perfect weekend at the lake, another road trip with three hilarious little people and a best friend named Danae, coffee dates in the morning with a forever friend named Kimberly, dinners outside with family, horse rides with my little sister, a cousin's wedding, shopping excursions with my fellow bargain hunter friend Brittany, morning runs with Karen followed by procrastination in its finest form...have all been filling my days and nights and all the in-betweens.
It has been glorious. Total summer bliss.
Within that mix, I'm starting something new. A second job. It has me feeling all crazy and being simultaneously like yeah I'm so excited about this endeavor to wondering what in the hell was I thinking like I need another thing. But then I have to remind myself that new is scary. It's nerve wracking. It's anxiety inducing. Because it's new. I'm a perfectionist so I like things to be just so right away. New and I often don't get along because if you don't know exactly what you are doing, it's hard to have all little ducks in a row. I've been doing a lot of self talking. It goes something like this.
Oh crap.
No you can do this.
Just figure it out.
Oh crap.
I think I will text my mom now.
See. You can do this.
Keep going.
Oh crap.
Billy!!!
He's right. Yes, okay. I'm on it.
Oh crap.
I could keep going...but instead I'm off to keep up the balance between enjoying the fabulousness of the sweet and fleeting summertime here and this new anxiety inducing adventure. Off to go self talk with a yes I can, yes I can, yes I can. Donkey kick. Fist pump. Glitter sprinkle.
"Every single day, do something that makes your heart sing." Marcia Wider
I could not agree more.
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