Leaving the Shoulds

I did something which strayed from my normal on Saturday.  I ignored the voice inside my head telling me what I thought I should be doing and instead did what I wanted to be doing.  I'm full of shoulds.  I can should myself right into a corner.  And I know sometimes there are shoulds which are musts, but many times the things that push me into a corner are only self induced expectations which come from somewhere.  I'm not sure exactly where but still.    

I should be...

Saturday was a bringing cows home from pastures day mixed in with some working of those same cattle.  I should have been outside helping walk them to the farm.  I should have had frozen fingers and toes and a runny nose.  I should have.  

But I didn't want to.  

I wanted to stay inside and visit with Momma Debi and play with Punky. 

I wanted to drink coffee and have my mom next to me and have a coloring session and watch Punky make her own little loaf of homemade bread with her Nana. 

 

I wanted to paint nails sparkly purple.  I wanted slow.  

 

I ignored the shoulds and went with the wants.  

Not my normal mode of operating but my goodness it felt like my cup was filled.  

The three of us did load up into my car so I could hide behind a tree to help have those hooves make the final corner so there was that. 

And then when everyone was in with their frozen fingers eating soup, I did have a moment of I should have been out there.  But the good of doing what I wanted for the rest of the afternoon won over and I kept on cup filling.  

I took a little nap the same time Punky was snoozing.  A nap happens for me about as frequently as I pet cats.  My mom was tinkering around and there simply isn't anything better than a nap while the sounds of home are going on around, brings you right back to feeling like everything is taken care of for you.   

Leaving the farm, I was stopped in my tracks by the beauty of the sky against the climbing tree.  I want to stop and get that.  So I did.  Why stop doing the wants when you're on a roll...   

While on the roads down to my brother and sister-in-law's, I pulled my car over and threw the flashers on several times.  Because of the whipping in the wind corn stalks.  Because of the sun being sly with the hills. 

Because of so much beauty in this land.  So much beauty for us.   

 

After visiting a bit with the rest of the crew, I drove up the hill to take more pictures of October because love a duck October is it.

 

L.M. Montogomery once said, "I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers."  

And I couldn't agree more.

 

Sometimes I want to have frozen fingers and toes and a runny nose while I help with cattle.  Sometimes that is cup filling.  But this time, it felt more like a should. 

I'm learning to tell the difference and listen.