It's a Somewhat of a Fortunate Fault

Felix culpa.  

Latin for "fortunate fault."  

Finding the good.  

Felix culpa and I like it.  

I'm not even sure where to or how to what to say seeings as how there's been a void of written words since before I ran 13.1 miles with my sister-in-law and ate zebra cake on Mother's Day.  Well, there's been words.  A great many words.  Just not the kind which are easily wrapped up and placed on a page.  

I've read more than once from several different spots this summer about how a person cannot actually process nor intelligently discuss all that is going on while it's happening.  But rather, the brain wrapping has to get a high five after it happened.  The places I read this nugget made it much more fancy schmancy but that's the jest of it.  One has to be through the woods before one can remember why they were in the woods in the first place.  Or something like that.  

A slight sidetrack note here.  It's the oddest thing to me that when you need to see or hear words, you do.  My summer reading has included everything from Bossypants by Tina Fey to The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion to A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess to more...and yet?  Yet the words find you.  The Felix Culpa?  Came from a book.  The notion of not being able to substantially process until after?  Came from a book.  It's amazing, books and their power.  

Sidetrack another note here.  I had a professor during grad school who once answered a question with, "I don't know enough about that to speak intelligently."  That has always stuck with me as a class act way of saying how in the hell do I know?  Remain quiet until you do know.  Good plan Dr. Walking Stick.  I'm not kidding, he had a walking stick. 

Back on topic in three, two, and one...I mean here, I'll just say this for now.  

It's been a summer.  A summer with a capital A.   

And when I say that, I mean it.  

My life today looks pretty much not a whole smidgen anything like it used to, other than I still read a lot, take a lot of pictures, run a lot around my house, run a lot around my town, run a lot around my head, and like pretty.  See?  I can't wrap this up and put it down intelligently...probably should have remained silent but lucky for you, it's ramble time.  There's so much to explain from my career head to my feeling heart but for now I'll say this.

I'm single.  It was a process that took awhile and it's for the best.  The very best for both and that's all I say about that as it's not just my story.     

And in April, I quit my job.  On a Thursday morning I walked into my principal - whom I love dearly - and had a heart to heart and when I walked out, it was official.  

I didn't have a plan.  

I didn't have a back up.

I did, however, have a feeling.  A gut feeling it was time to find some new.  To push myself to grow and change and grab the wheel of my life by the horns.  I think I mixed two metaphors there but I kind of like it, therefore it's staying.   

Quit and then a whole other pile of change occurred...you know, the unraveling and becoming alone. 

Now fast forward to dang near the middle of August and here I sit.  In a hotel room with a new job.  A job which requires travel.  A job still in education.  A job which involves the meeting of different people pretty much every single day.  A job which has me to drive into a town, find the school, walk up the stairs - schools most certainly always have some form of stairs you walk up or maybe that's just the last couple I've been at but still - and face a room full of strangers.  Yep.  That's it in a nutshell.  And so far, I freaking love it.  

Quitting.  Quitting is a necessary evil sometimes.  It's a fortunate fault.  A Felix Culpa.  

Now let's see if I can start to figure out a way to back the track up some and do some woods talking about the woods walking.  We shall see if it comes.  If not, please know that the zebra cake did indeed turn out and the table was indeed pretty and my sister-in-law and I did indeed run that half marathon. 

One last sidetrack, I think I like the backside of having it together better.  The unflattering inappropriate joking and the a piece fell off the cake.  The backside of having it together is a win.