Finding It

I swear life is in the details.  The underpinnings of the big picture.  Sure, the main event is what brings us somewhere or what causes us to come together, but I swear that life...real suck the breath out of you life...is in the details.  

This past year has been a journey for me.  I hate to refer to at as a "self discovery" or a "self improvement" situation.  I much prefer just thinking of the previous months, days, hours, minutes, seconds as "finding the details."  

Finding the moments I feel fulfilled and then consciously deciding to stay there.   It seems to me that if I become aware of exactly what it is that is making the moment fantastic, it becomes easier and easier to recreate.  It's not far off from my whole "heart-happy" business of lip gloss.  Because I know that wearing lip gloss while I teach makes be better.  I know it.  It's a detail.  

The whole idea of finding happiness in the small is hard to capture in words.  It's a feeling.  The feeling like my friend had when she texted me with, "This walk in the park on this beautiful evening is making my heart happy right now and I just wanted you to know."

Can I tell you that when I received that message, I was standing in the middle of my living room having just stood up from dusting the coffee table.  I literally threw my hands in the air and said, "Yessss!" to the air in my house.  Because I knew from reading that blip that my friend was feeling it.  Feeling that suck the breath out of you living in the details feeling.  All from a walk in the park on a beautiful evening.

Then I thought to myself, "Self, you are dusting.  What's wrong with this picture?"  But as I stood there for a few seconds longer, I realized that I was more than content with my cleaning.  Happy even.  Because I was wearing my favorite sweats, music was filling the space, my hair was in a crazy pony-tail, and my day had been full.  Details.  All details that made even cleaning a more than mediocre mundane task.

So I find myself living in the details. 

Living in the listening to Adele on Pandora while correcting papers. 
Living in the eating my peanut butter/honey bread with a fork. 
Living in the dimpled grin and sparkly eyes of "I got a new bike!  A John Deere bike!" 
Living in the feeling privileged to see the wonder in the chicken wings' eyes as they stare in awe at a piece of our country's history. 

Living in the sitting cross-legged on a purple couch while wearing dangly earrings having a conversation with a forever friend. 
Living in the sweet embrace of a five year old followed with "I'm glad you came to eat with us Amy." 
Living in the shining sun hitting my neck watching the chicken wings play in the spring air. 
Living in the opening of a package from the mail to find a letter and a book all wrapped up just because she thought I'd enjoy. 

Living in the details.  

Because I swear life is those details.

And when I was correcting spelling tests yesterday with Adele providing background music, at the bottom of one of the hot pink papers was "I am hungry for chicken."  With a smiley face and a flower drawn next to it.   

See?  Details.    

I'm betting that all of you with children of your own are bowled over by the details every.stinking.day.  You just have to be.