It's Double Like That

This morning, I woke up early with a tug of I have to drive there again.  I have to learn how to do one by myself from start to finish.  Christmas break is nearly overThis is it.  And with that, I packed my two thermoses of coffee and my bag of yarn to hit the know by heart road to the farm.
Then I sat there on the chocolaty couch in the living room with my mom and little sister for the third time this week, trying to get a coffee cozy done start to finish all on my own.  Without any intervening help from either of their well versed crochet hands to help with a button hole here or there. 
I was determined as I knew I was short on time and long on novice skills. 
After three attempts at getting it right, I finally came through and a blue coffee sweater with a mustard Grandma Gladys button was completed.  On my own. 
Here's to learning new and knowing when it's time to stand on your own two feet.  Or two crocheting hands. 
A few minutes ago, I sat on my bed with the winter sunset happening at my feet.  A place in my house I've never taken in a sunset from before.  New to me, this view of the winding down light at my feet.  
While weaving in and out this time, I thought about the feeling I had when the new skill was finally tucked under my belt and from seeing the sun on the wall. 
And it's simple really.  Learning new and doing new feel damn good.  They just do.  Whether it's taking in a sunset from a different spot in your house or learning a project or traveling or whatever really, new is fabulous.  Fabulous and fantastic.  It's double like that. 

So I've decided right now, here on this December 30th that my resolution for 2014 will be simple and concise. 
To do new. 
Over and over again. 
Here's to a fabulous and fantastic trip around the sun.    


We are Strong

As I sit here on this Saturday morning of Christmas break, with my 1980s sweatshirt quilt wrapped around me and a space heater humming at my feet, I feel like I want to write.  Probably because I just spent the last two hours reading.  Reading makes you want to write.  Or at least it does that magic for me.  Reading someone else's fantastically woven words inspires me to sit down and peck something out.  All full knowing, it won't be to the caliber of published works. 
But it's writing.  For me. 
And writing is a funny thing.  Sometimes I don't feel like I want to ever do that business again.  To sit here in this blue paisley chair and put any thoughts from my head down to this paper.  And then I go with that feeling and don't do it just for the sake of it.  But then it strikes again, the pull to make sense of an intangible train of thoughts.  And then I go with that feeling too and sit here with my space heater to say something. 
Which in this case is...
I love my book club. 
You want to talk about something that makes me feel inspired to read, write, and to live like I could jump off any risk at any moment?  Let's talk about book club then.

It's a sacred thing.  I don't toss that word around lightly either.  Sacred.  Sitting around a table or in a cluster of chairs or we could even sit on the floor, with that group of ladies...is magic. 
We had our annual Christmas party the Friday before all of the festivities started and this year proved to be as epic as all previous.  Complete with the Bison game on in the background playing to a vinyl records soundtrack of the old country of George Jones mixed in with the shatteringly beautiful Your Song by Elton John. 

This time of year is always bittersweet.  One celebration after another while the ever present nag of this the end of another year pulls at my heartstrings.  This party was the kick start to the nostalgic feeling of wrapping up the past 365 days.  All of us went around the table and reflected upon our favorite moments from 2013.  Our challenges and our triumphs and our misgivings came through, like they always do. 
It's a rare commodity, to be fully accepted and never judged and to put it almost unfairly simple, that is precisely what my book club is for me.  I often say things in book club or think things aloud in book club which I believed in my head would never see the light of day.  For I know those thoughts flying out of my mouth, have a safe spot to land.

It's a sacred thing.  Book Club.  At the end of every meeting, there is usually a mess of wine glasses and empty martinis and leftover bits of food and crumpled napkins but as we all put our coats on and shake our hair out of their collars, we are never a mess.  Quite the opposite, we are aligned and back to our core...ready to tackle the next month.  Because anytime we are given the full acceptance we all crave and so desperately need, everything else - all the little - quite frankly doesn't freaking matter.  
For we have been reminded we are strong.  Strong women who can and will do anything.    


Love the Chaos

Merry Christmas Eve to all.  And to all I wish for this holiday season to be everything you need it to be.  I'm discovering more and more as I get older that nothing is ever simple, nor do plans get followed exactly.  It's hard to be everywhere and do everything and things are never quite cookie cutter.  It's messy.  Life is messy and so very far from perfect. 
However, there is an off-shoot of simplicity which can arise when I let the perfect go and throw it all up in the wind to let it fall in the midst of the chaos.  It's called the simple of love.  Love and letting it go.  So maybe I wish one more thing for you all this holiday season.  Stay in the love.  Not in the things and the doings. 
For it is the people, our families, who make the time what it is...not the cookie cutter.
And because I am who I am, I also hope you all have more than your fair share of slow coffee, laughing until you cry, precious memories made with family, and a plethora of festive wear.  Including velvet-ish fabric smattered with plaid. 
I admire Billy's mom so...freaking much.  Because that woman has mastered the art of this is my family and this is not perfect but we are all here for each other.  Bernie can decorate for Christmas with the sparkliest of them and plans for Santa stops too.   
She also holds the aura of I am seventy-eight and still teach ballroom dancing and younger men ask me on dates and if I like to snuggle.  Then I tell them where to go, so I can laugh with my girlfriends instead.  And I always have my nails painted and wear too much jewelry. 
Yes, Bernie is something. 
It's Christmas Eve and I've already had a full celebration and a Sunday evening ride home with sun dogs and my phone in a bowl of rice sitting next to me.  Because turns out when you have a coffee cup in your hand at all times to keep up with that lovely Bernie...well...your phone might take a jump in. 
It all makes for excitement and the moments we will look back on and laugh.  It's the stories we carry with us.  So go get your Christmas on.  Throw caution to the wind and let it all go.  Soak the chaos in friends.  In all its love and glory. 


Freaking Cold or Winter in the Desert

It's bone chilling cold today and I just spent about three and a half minutes cleaning out my car backseat quick like with out socks on my feet and a cement garage floor.  It was fun.  Fun and smart. 
Twenty-seven below zero actual temperature is not for the faint of heart and it really makes me question why living here has appeal and then I remember it's my people.  My people is the appeal. 
Because let me tell you this, winter in the desert is much more my swing.  A Thanksgiving week with bare feet making pies and morning runs and bike rides under the sun and tricks in the pool both day and night and being outside under a pink sky and evening wine chats with patio doors open to let the breeze in...is the best ever. 

Winter in the desert will wear you out...fall asleep in the middle of the living room in the midst of chaos kind of wear you out.  Winter in the desert is appealing, more so than this twenty-seven below zero ridiculous that's floating around here currently.