This is a Good Life Letter

Dear Blog Reader,

Yesterday I had lofty goals of getting many items crossed off the list as this early Sunday morning brings another round of travel.  Instead, I nursed a headache from book club Christmas party shenanigans while drinking coffee with Karen and Brittany for hours.  Then, because she realized I was getting in rougher shape (so responsible I am!), Karen proclaimed that lunch was necessary and the next thing I knew I was in her car in a this is what I look like straight out of bed mode.  She was spot on.  Food fixed all woes.  Next, we went to a craft show and then put mascara on in the same bathroom - we showered in different ones - to get ready to head out to the annual cookie exchange.  Book club Christmas party Friday night, where there are no rules about sparkles and selfies and group picture posing.  Coffee drinking Saturday morning with Christmas tree leggings and two forever friends.  Pretending like I'm a college student lunching on Saturday afternoon.  Cookie exchange partying on Saturday night with even more of my favorite people.  This is a good life.  The only thing I can actually say was productive about the weekend was I had a really great mascara rendevous last night and much needed quality time with the people I call my people.  

P.S.

Please tell me you understand what I mean when I say it was a great mascara day.  Sometimes it goes on just right and you feel like you just might be six years younger.  

P.P.S

The picture of Bobsy Twin and me is supposed to not be the same exact one side by side but I'm sitting at the airport and I can't do anything to fix it so seeing double is what you get.  

P.P.P.S

Karen came to my house at 4:15 this morning to take my garbage out and clean the coffee pot and bring my running late hiney to the airport.  She is the very best human. 

Sincerely,

Me 

A Rut Fix

Eyes closed in a squint, shoulders raised, cheeks up, laughing feels so good.  So good.  Physically something happens I swear and mentally too, of course.  

Every once in awhile I will get stuck in a couple of days without laughter through my pores, a rut so to speak.  A routine rut more specifically, it's a floating through the motions of the every day with just that, the emotions of oh this is just another every day.  Usually during those days, I feel different as if something is off kilter, askew.  Then, something pee your pants style will happen and the laughing comes back and I'm all squeeze hugging it and yelling where have you been?!  That's what has been missing!  

Find some things to laugh about.  I must always find some things to laugh about.  My heart is much happier with eyes closed in a squint, shoulders raised, cheeks up...I just know it.

Also this article.  Is so spot on.  I am giving up saying I'm busy for Lent.  I don't really do the entire give up for Lent thing, so really I'm just trying to give it up.  If you catch me saying I'm busy, give me one swift slap on the cheek and then tell me to laugh instead.

One last PS and it's for winter.

Dear Winter,
Please leave.  Thank you.  Your long past your welcome stay is causing me to do things like take pictures of raspberries with the sunlight as a backdrop to grasp at some form of spring.  The sunlight was through the window of course because of you.  You winter you.
Sincerely, 
Me 

Squeezing Lemons Hard

I feel like winter is suck swallowing the life out of me.  Maybe more like January is.  And then the thought that February still looms in our future is too.  I swear every year I will figure out a way to not let January and February win.  I try hard.  I try hard to enjoy that every single day is spent doing basically the same thing.  Gym, work, work, home...with an extracurricular thrown in here and there.  It's dark when I leave and dark when I get home and quite frankly, it's all the same it feels.  But I give it a try. 

 

To embrace the feeling of cozy and stuck.  To pretend it's nice to constantly have the fire roasting my toes.  To create the illusion of loving beanies and scarves and sweaters.   

 

But I'm over it. 

 

 

I find I lack inspiration when I can't get my bones outside in the sun.  I need air.  Real air.  The kind which makes you stick your nose up and throw your arms out wide. 

 

An enormously strong indicator about just how out of inspiration I am is the fact that I have only taken about thirty-seven pictures this entire month. 

 

It's hard to find joy in the mundane.  Dang I wish I was immune to that statement.  So here's my rendition of I am kicking the suck swallowing winter by declaring a few mundane things down right fabulous. 

 

A unicorn shirt found while on a girls weekend to see Pink in concert.  That weekend breathed me back to life too, it was so so good.  But yeah, wearing a unicorn shirt.  Take that January. 

 

Green tea.  Hot green tea all the time.  Take that looming February. 

 

 

Couch sitting is not really my friend.  I'd much rather be moving and shaking and making up things to do but maybe the forced relax is okay for these air lacking bones.  We watched Captain Phillips early Saturday morning and I cried so freaking hard at the end when they are pulling Phillips to the Navy boat.  Tom Hanks nailed it.  My tears were streaming into pools on my shirt.  Inspiration from not only someone who is using their gift for such goodness, but from the real Captain Phillips because he is a straight up hero.  Take that suck swallowing winter. 

 

 

I'm doing my best over here.  It's not all doom and gloom and the gray color of the sky is not truly eating me alive.  It's simply trying damn hard is all.

 

But hey!  Did I mention I now own a unicorn shirt? 

 

How about having a braid in my hair.  That's a kick ass mundane right?  I'm grasping at straws here.  Find the pretty.  Find the joy. 

 

 

Pretty bird.  Pretty bird.  That line is from a movie but I can't tell you which one because movie quoting is not in my repertoire. 

 

A cup of green tea has been made to start this evening off and I suppose I should will myself into thinking it's fine that I can't stick my nose in the air outside and breathe in.  Well, I could.  But my nostril hairs would freeze. 

 



A Really Great Book

One of my happies...  

Pulling the old rocker over the fire.  

Making a cup of tee.  

And reading.  

Until my feet become so freaking hot I can't stand it anymore.  

This time it was in the afternoon sun on a December vacation day.  

But the time doesn't matter, as long as all elements are present.

 

And may I say this.  If you haven't read The Fault in Our Stars, do it now.  Like this weekend.  It's perfect really because if you live here, we will be buried under a layer of ice and snow and butt numbing cold.     

I read the book in one day over break.  Tears ran down my face.  It's one I will read again, the words and message are hauntingly beautiful.

 

"I am," he said.  He was staring at me, and I could see the corners of his eyes crinkling.  "I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things.  I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun wills wallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you." 

'Sometimes the universe wants to be noticed.'  "That's what I believe.  I believe the universe wants to be noticed.  I think the universe is improbably biased toward consciousness, that it rewards intelligence in part because the universe enjoys its elegance being observed.  And who am I, living in the middle of history, to tell the universe that it-my observation of it-is temporary?"  "You are fairly smart," I said after awhile.  "You are fairly good at compliments," he answered. 

"You are so busy being you that you have no idea how utterly unprecedented you are."

Up Up Time

Today was back to work day and now that it's evening, I think I feel alright with it.  Well, I have to be in compliance since the money tree for the backyard hasn't been delivered yet.  That Amazon Prime two day shipping isn't all it's cracked up to be.  Anyways back to what I was saying, I tend to take the week and a half or so of Christmas break to really fall off the routine and structure bandwagon.  I do things like eat coffee ice cream after having cinnamon sugar toast and I sleep until seven and don't do any running or really much of any activity other than sitting cross legged with a crochet hook or lifting a coffee mug to my face while visiting.  

 

 

And I have decided I need those days of no rules with wearing leggings with fuzzy socks and nights of baths with wine and a book.  It actually makes me itch and want the structure.  The down time makes me want the up time back.  I was excited last night to set my alarm for 4:42 to hit the gym and I felt back in control while packing my lunch with real food like carrots.  The novelty will wear off again and then force of habit will take over but for now, I'm enjoying it all feeling like new resolve.   

It's up time again.  Go time.   

But that's not to take away from the magic that was Christmas break this year.        

  

I am fairly certain I could have really handled a few more days off but like I said previously, I think I'm alright with being back in the game.  Days of playing with helicopters and enjoying homemade tomato soup with ridiculous grilled cheese and never taking off glorified pajamas can't last forever.  Right?  Money tree where are you?     

Tiny to Perspective

There are so many, for lack of a better word, horrible things which have happened in the past two days.  Like really really horrible.  A couple who I consider one set of my extra parents being seriously injured in a car accident on our Wild West roads, doors and windows being shot out of a local school in the middle of the night...it goes on.  

And with the news of each of those heart breaking events, comes the thought of what's next followed by my problems are small.  Tiny.  Not even problems.  Miniscule.   

Let me back up.  

Last week was spent in Arizona with my entire family and it was beautiful.  In the sun, relaxing and playing and running and being free and living under one roof again.  Then I had to come home.  And I cried when I got off the airplane on Saturday.  I cried as I walked through our airport and saw the winter outside and the interesting folks we now have running rogue around here.  Interesting is the nicest way I could think to put that sentiment.  I cried.  

Now that crying seems fairly pathetic and utterly unwarranted.  Crying for winter and the small town where everyone knows everyone of days gone past.  Let's get a grip here buttercup and buck up.  

I find perspective is handed to me often, the key is to accept.  

On Sunday morning before all the horrible, I woke up and put Christmas tree leggings on.  Then I poured coffee in my Arizona mug and sat with the lights.  In that moment, I was still pissed at winter and this place.  The place that is no longer good ol' western North Dakota.  As I sipped and visited and really loved my ugly attire and noticed the snow falling lightly out of the windows all picturesque, I let go of the pissed.  

Replaced it with a better spirit.  One who wanted to grab her camera and jump in the car to go chase the frosty trees.  

One who wanted to make good out of the blasted winter by wearing her favorite hat and a scarf wrapped three times around.  One who wanted to find some beauty in the cold.  

When I looked through the patch of trees I happened to walk through, I noticed a red barn off in the distance.  My heart did a leap right there and then.  It was hitting the holy grail of holidays, a red barn on a frosty winter Sunday morning.  

A bright spot and a meant to be right here at this exact time moment.  

Now that it's Tuesday, all my fa-looting around with Christmas trees on my pants and capturing frosty trees seems ridiculous.  There are real seriously horrible things happening all around.  All the time it seems.  To stand up people.  To people who deserve only the best.  Makes my heart hurt.   

I thought about not sharing these pictures because as I said before, they are rather ridiculous.  But then I was reminded of the heart leaping I felt when I noticed the red barn, the bright spot.  Maybe someone who needs a leap will be here, so here they are.  And please, let's all say extra prayers for our wild world and let's all be kind to one another and remember to keep perspective.  Let's have lots of bucking up buttercups, who let go of their tiny problems.  Who support and embrace those with real ones.          

Sum It Up

I became the proud new owner of a pair of pants this week.  They were a hand me down which is probably a sign they are not in style but I tend to go with not matching, not in style types of looks.  The pants would likely be considered cheetah or some other form of large cat to most.  

But the whole time I was wearing them, all I could think of was I look like I'm wearing a Shorthorn cow.  

Maybe that's the farm girl coming out in me.  To refer to a pattern on pants as Shorthorn cow. 

 

Also this week, I gave the big ol' snow pile in my yard a hiney tap and a kiss to send it on its way.  Love a duck, it is time for Spring to spring already! 

Today, I wore a skirt to school.  One which would likely be considered mustard yellow to most.  

But the whole I was wearing it, all I could think of was I am wearing calf scours yellow on my bottom half.  

Please tell me you have seen calf scours before.  If you haven't, you've really missed out on an experience which will mold your life.    

Again, the farm girl in me. 

So to sum it all up...

My fashion of late is Shorthorn cow hide and calf scours yellow and I'm way over the snow. 



Clean Cookies

Snow day around these parts today.  I think it probably is more of an ice day but I'm not the expert on those kinds of things.  I just know my phone rang at 5 something this morning with a recording of something to the effects of there's no school today so wear your pajamas until 10:20 am, write a blog post about oatmeal and raisin cookies you made, drink too much coffee, and...

 

Well, really it just said no school. 

 

Here's what is not nice about a snow day, you have to make it up. 

 

Here's what is nice about a snow day, it's not a planned day off so all of the laundry and cleaning and organizing and other getting stuff done that is usually saved for those days off...is well...done. 

 

 

This morning I tried out a recipe I found on Pinterest.  And it is a win.   

 

Basically, you take 2 large too ripe bananas and 1 cup of quick oats and mash them together.  You might have to add a little more oats because all bananas are not created equally. 

 

That's the base of the cookie and anything could be added after the initial mix.  Chocolate chips, chopped up walnuts, cinnamon, tiny apple pieces, raisins, etc...  Whatever your heart desires.  I added a quarter cup of raisins to mine. 

 

Then make sure you grease your cookie sheet because caked on oatmeal is about as fun to clean up an entire bowl of popcorn spilled on the floor of your car.   

 

Drop cookies and slightly smash down with fork.  I made 15 cookies. 

 

Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes and then place the cookies on either parchment paper or a wire rack so they don't get soggy while they cool. 

 

 

But I recommend eating one or two while they are warm.  Delicious. 

 

If you make fifteen cookies, each one has 37 calories.  That's figured with the raisins added.  If you added other things, it would change.  Stating the obvious there.

 

 

I enjoyed two this morning with my third cup of coffee, they filled me right up and are still sticking two and a half hours later.  That's a winner of a breakfast. 

 

 

I know these will also come in quite handy when I have that I'm so hungry I might eat my own hand feeling. 

 

Hand...handy...I'll stop now.