I had no idea.
No idea how much I missed my little sister.
Until she came walking through the door last night for the birthday party bash.
It hit me when I saw her. My heart squeezed and I jumped off the couch and couldn't get her hugged fast enough. We stood and stayed in the embrace for minutes and laughed and I wanted to simply smush her.
Because she is happy. Doing her thing happy. I love when people I love are happy.
As I write this, I feel it again. The heart squeeze. I miss her being around all the time. I miss her being ridiculous with me. At one point towards the end of the party she gave me a mischievous little side glance and said, "Look Amy, it's a glitter heart. And it's a candle." Because she knew. She knew we would light that candle and take pictures and have a moment. It's just what we do. My sister and I.