Now for the Big Picture

The past few weeks have been a whirl wind. 

Now, I feel it winding down.  Sort of.  I've learned with every ebb comes a return of flow.

I'm the type of person who gets wrapped up in the details.  And then processes the big picture later.  It's been a couple weeks since Sister Pister's party.  The glitter and hot glue gun and scrapbook paper and twine and clothespins have been put away.  As have my go go go feelings of being in party planning mode which means now I've moved onto thinking about the reality of why we had that party in the first place.

During the entire duration of the Friday night before the festivities when I was set up at my card table in the garage for crafting central, all I could think about was what was next on the list to get ready.  I was not thinking about the fact a page is turning.  That a moving on is happening.  That the next wave in our family's way of life is here.   

That a shift of change will be coming with friendships.  That it's hard to let go of the past and jump into the future.  That it's imperative to keep friends who matter close even when distance becomes a factor. 

Then on Saturday when it was really go time and my partner in crime cousin named Cheryl and I were in full on get it done flying around with cutting jeans and arranging sunflowers and covering tables and hanging banners and bossing Beaner to fill jars with gravel and sweep off the outside of the house, I was going through in my head how the next morning would go with the final tweaking before actually showering and getting myself ready.  I wasn't thinking about how amazing it is to have a net of family who comes swooping in to help and celebrate and laugh and help some more.  Having that kind of close knit crew to be a part of is a blessing.  Brian, Cheryl, and their two kids go above and beyond.  Every single time.  Thank you is simply not enough.     

On Saturday evening, when the sun poked through the clouds finally and I was out in the yard doing the weed whacking and blowing the winter gunk out of the landscape rocks, I was exhausted.  To the point that all I was thinking about was going home to bed.  I wasn't thinking the next day my sister would be giving her speech to a gym full of people and that the instant she mentioned my name in that speech, tears would roll from my eyes.  So much so I would have to put the camera to my face and start clicking to avoid the truly ugly cry from making its appearance.

On Sunday morning, when it was still early morning dark out and I was in my kitchen dipping marshmallows into melted chocolate and rolling them in crushed up graham crackers to create the look of mini straw bales or cat tales or something rustic to fit the theme, I was worried about how it was taking longer than I planned for and had mild anxiety about hoping for the sun to shine and the wind to not blow.  I wasn't thinking about how there were many times I worried about how Em would turn out.  She was a bit of a flighty free spirit when she was a little sprite.  And she still is a free spirit, but my worries have flown out the window as she is more than just fine.  Kind, hardworking, driven, responsible, gives love, and is loved.           

At daybreak on Sunday morning, when the sun started rising and I was still dipping away, I was more than perturbed at the pesky marshmallows which kept falling down on the stick and was panicking that I was running out of time and might have to go to graduation in my jammies.  I wasn't thinking about how my parents will be missing having kids around their house next fall.  It's been thirty-one years of kid running and entertainment for them.  To say they will miss their "little" is an understatement.

At noon on Sunday, after all of the decorations had been finished and the food had been made and every last detail was accounted for, I was getting ready in the basement with my sister.  I was trying to hurry to get my hair and makeup and outfit all put together and I tore my nylons.  And it quickly turned into a rat race.  I wasn't thinking about how soon my little sister will be hours away and we won't be seeing each other nearly as often.  I wasn't thinking about that I should cherish that half an hour I had with her standing next to me in that bathroom and forget the nylons and the perfect mascara and jewelry and just stop.  Stop to give her a squeeze hug and tell her I'm more than proud of her and I love her to pieces.

Before the ceremony, I was in the lunch room with Em taking whatever pictures she wanted me to.  And my head was finally in the right place.  The place of celebrating the reason for the entire weekend and all of the work and details.  The place of embracing that little stinker and being so happy for who she is on the inside.

The place of being able to slow down and enjoy.  Enjoy moments like this.  When her friend Adam, who she has known since babyhood, swooped in for a surprise kiss.  It was priceless.  They are really the best of friends and always have been.  I used to take them to the circus when they were tiny things and wondered about the people they would become.  I could have hoped back then as I looked at their two bright faces they would someday be the co-Valedictorians of their class and turns out, they did just that.  From circuses and playgrounds to giving the speeches at their high school graduation.  Full circle.  Time is flying.

Right before the ceremony, I stood outside the school entrance and waited.  Waited for my friend Karen.  She drove up and handed me new nylons through the window and said, "There you go!  Now go give 'em hell."  Because she's like that.  She's the friend that will receive your panic text and go to Target right when they open their doors.  She's the friend that will drive twenty-three miles with new nylons.  She's the friend that then says things like "give 'em hell" when there is no real reason for it.  She's the friend that comes to your sister's party with her kids because your family mine as well be hers too.       

With two minutes to spare, I was completely ready.  New nylons included.  I walked up to Em who was standing in line waiting for the Pomp and Circumstance.  I walked up to her and hugged her and whispered in her ear, "I love you.  Give 'em hell on the speech.  And I'm proud of you."

Then it was over.  Sister Pister did her thing and got that diploma.  Then the party started.  And it was perfect.  A perfect big picture from all of those little details.  A perfect end to this chapter.  A perfect beginning to the next one.       

Perfect happiness celebrated indeed.