Seeded Grapes and Signs

I came across this today...

Give up being perfect for being authentic.  

Because when you are authentic, people fall in love with you. 

Point taken.  It was like a here's your sign came flying in from the never never lands.    

Point taken indeed. 

And I have another one for you.  This is the kind that would make Larry the Cable Guy and Bill Engvall actually say it out loud.  They would totally say, "Here's your sign."   

I bought grapes.  I bought seeded grapes.  Because I thought seeded meant they had been seeded.  As in the seeds taken out.  And just to make sure, I popped one in my mouth.  Yes, I do things like eat a dirty dirty grape at The Market Basket.  Wild side.  I walk on it.  So I popped one in and sure enough, no seeds.  Without thinking twice, I grabbed my usual two bags and went on my merry way.  

Once home, I washed the grapes and popped one into my mouth.  Only this time I crunched on hard seeds.  Then I said a bad word.  I tried another one.  Same thing.  Then I said another bad word.   

Because turns out, seeded grapes are grapes that have seeds in them.  Not grapes that have been seeded.   

Here's your sign.

You'd think it was my first rodeo buying grapes or something.   

Of course the ONE that I chose out of the whole pile of grapes was some sort of mutant.  Of course.  

And because I'm stubborn, I cut each grape in half and took the seeds out.  One by one.  Because I'm really really stubborn, I pretended like it was my plan the whole time.  To stand in my kitchen and cut grapes in half and pick seeds for thirty-seven minutes.