You Call Me and I'm Way Back

Yesterday, I drove all the way across town in a race against my half an hour lunch break time frame.  Being full aware that lunch wasn't actually going to be lunch because there wouldn't be time to eat.  Knowing full well lunch was going to be a hot coffee from Big Apple Bagel.  Yes, I drove all the way across town for a coffee.  Yes, I didn't eat lunch.  Sometimes when you are happy and the sun is shining and the radio is beckoning and the solitude of your car calls and you are racing against thirty minutes...it doesn't matter.  Life's too short to eat lunch every single day.  Don't ever quote me on that one.  It's not something that needs to get around.  

Anyway, I drove and sang and let the sun shine through the windows.  When I arrived at the Big Apple, I walked right in to two men standing in line in front of me.  

Me:  "Well look what have we here?!  Are you two having the best day ever or what?" 

Chuckling.  Heads down.  Side glances at each other.

Me:  "I'm serious.  Is it the best?"  

Man 1:  "Yeah, it's shaping up to be a pretty good one I guess.  You obviously are having the best day ever."  

Me:  "I always try to.  I mean, really, why not make every day a best day?  I like to throw glitter around.  And...well...I shouldn't probably even ask you this because it's serious...but...do you believe in unicorns?"  

Chuckling.  Heads down.  Side glances at each other.  

Man 1:  "Well I guess.  Maybe.  Yeah.  I guess maybe I do believe in unicorns."

Man 2:  BLANK STARE AT MAN 1.

Me:  "So what are you two boys doing?  Big business meeting or what?"  (laptops...they had laptops)

Man 2:  "He is.  He is my boss."

Man 1:  "I'm doing interviews today."

Me:  "Interviews?!  I love interviews!  You probably want me to stay here and help huh?  What are we interviewing for?"

Man 1:  "Oil field.  We're in the oil business.  Baker Hughes.  We're putting up a big ol' place north of town."  

Me:  "Hmmmm, I see.  And you're the boss?  Well here's where I tell you that you are going to want to hire me.  And I'm okayyyyy with getting dirty, but I'd prefer not to.  Like maybe I could be in charge of company morale or something?"

Man 2:  IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING RIGHT NOW LOOK ON HIS FACE.

Man 1:  "Like you could keep coffee going and things neat and tidy and organized."  

Me:  "Oh could I ever.  And I'd throw little parties.  For birthdays and stuff.  And decorate.  I love a good theme."  

Man 2:  "I could see you being a company cheerleader."  

Me:  "I have my master's degree.  Which means, you must pay well for my cheerleading skills."  

Man 1:  "I'm sure we could work something out.  But I don't really need anyone to start until the end of May because that's when the building will be done."  

Me:  "Perfect.  I'm not available until the end of May."  

Man 2:  NO WAY IS THIS HAPPENING...NO WAY...HEAD DOWN...LITTLE SMILE SMIRK THING.

Man 1:  "I really do need a secretary.  A good one at that.  Can you organize and keep track of things?"  

Me:  "Do you know what it means when I say I have a Type A personality?  Don't even get me started."

Man 1:  "Obviously I don't need to ask if you are a people person."  

MAN 2:  SHAKES HIS HEAD.  OVER AND OVER AGAIN.  LAUGHING.  "She talked to us about glitter and unicorns.  While we were standing in line to get bagels.  I think she can talk to strangers."  

Man 1:  "Here's my business card.  You call me.  Baker Hughes.  We'll work out the details.  Don't you go working for anyone else."  

And I'm back.  And boy does it feel good. 

I just couldn't stop there though.  It's like my addiction to ridiculousness was being fed at a rapid rate and I needed just a little more.  One more hit.   

So I crossed my arms real serious like and said to the boss man, "But I have one question.  Do you think there's really oil out there?"

Laughter all around.

"I don't think there's oil there.  I know there's oil."

"But do you think it's going to last a long time?"

"I'm building a house here.  It's here for the long haul."

"So like you think...I mean...you think it will last...three whole months?"

Laughter all around. 

"You are something else."

"Yes.  Sometimes I am.  And just think...you could be around this every day."

"You have my card."

And I'm way back.  And it feels real good. 

Taking a picture of a picture?  Oh yeah, I'm way way back. 

And please, let's just have a moment for the pink and white striped OshKosh bibs.  Those are one fashion statement that came out of the 80s that should be repeated.