Beating Defeat

I was sitting at my desk this afternoon correcting papers and hitting the afternoon slump and wishing I could be in music with the chicken wings instead of looking over their assessments...feeling those inevitable moments of defeat that always come creeping in when you realize that some still don't get it.  Feeling as if all that I have said and done went right on through without catching.  Feeling like I can't get them to get it.  And, the thing is, they have to get it and they can get it.  It's my job they do and while sitting at my desk, sometimes it would be easier to just have them not get it.  Easier to just give up and throw my hands in the air and say, "It's okay you don't know what action, linking, and helping verbs are or how to use them to effectively communicate, it's okay you don't get it."  

Then, in that exact moment of my feeling of "why do I do this" a student of mine from last year came into my room with a smile on her face and a red construction paper heart card in her hand.  She walked up to me sitting at my desk wallowing in defeat and said, "This is for you."  By giving me that red construction paper heart with a handwritten note, she in essence took my hand and pulled me up and out of that ugly feeling of defeat without even knowing it.  A smile was inevitable as I read her words.   

Happy Valentine's Day!  

Dear Miss E.,

I just want to thank you for a great 4th grade.  I will remember you always.

Love,

Bubbles  

As she walked out of my room, I was reminded that maybe sometimes, I am that hand.  The hand that grabs on and pulls up.  And I might not even know at the time, but I'm taking away defeat.   I might need to trust and keep working and know that at some point, they will all get it.  They will all get it because I truly believe it's unacceptable for them to fail.  It's not okay for my students to not know what linking, helping, and action verbs are or more importantly, to not know how to use them to effectively communicate.  In fact, it's not okay at all.  So, as hard as it may be some days, I keep grabbing hands and pulling.  

Then, as if it had not already been made clear enough, I swiveled around in my chair to grab my orange zebra sticky notepad to write a list of "need a hand" kids based on the assessment and I was faced with another note.  Written in shaky handwriting.  

Thank you for teaching me and the rest of the class.  I hope I can be like you when I grow up.  

{a drawn heart} Punky Brewster

I tacked that note up after Punky gave it to me at Christmas.  One of my main goals - which is equal in  my mind to the academic side of my job - is to teach my students what I refer to as life lessons.  For instance, "Chicken wings, this is life lesson number 157...sometimes it's alright to be last to get the cupcake.  And life lesson number 158...it's alright to be last to get the cupcake because we are all going to wait until everyone has their treat and we've all said a proper thank you before we even think about taking a bite." 

Or "Life lesson number 11...it's fun to be goofy at times and I'm totally all for that when the time is right, but then we have to know how to come back to Earth and find our self control again."  Punky is a kid that has been working really hard on learning the ever tasking art of self control and coming back to Earth all year so when she handed me that note at Christmas, she reminded me life lessons are worth taking the time to not only say with my words, but also model with my actions.    

A short while later, the chicken wings came back from music and I had made my "need a hand" list for tomorrow's English centers.  They were met with a teacher who had kicked the feeling of defeat to the curb and was ready.  All because of their simple reminders.  Reminders to keep on keeping on.  When they all individually did a starjack at the end of today as I sent them on their way to the bus, this popped into my head, "Life lesson number 42...don't be afraid to be ridiculous; none of us are too cool to be ridiculous sometimes."

They all get that.